Last week, I began this and several other posts that I was unable to complete due to the circumstances that I discuss below. Somehow I think that it makes posting this now, late and only partially complete, particularly important.

[Beginning of saved post from 4/13/08]

Recently, I presented a paper at the Conference on College Composition and Communication. My paper dealt with issues of identity formation in Second Life and during a portion of my talk, I discussed the role that Second Life has played in expanding social networks for the disabled. For example, folks with autism, like Amanda Baggs, frequently meet online in SL to interact socially and network politically. As I presented my paper, I mentioned that I was currently shoeless because my heels had given me blisters. In contrast, I noted, my SL avatar has no such limitations; she can wear five inch heels all day long, do jumping jacks in them, and run a marathon. Of course, she can also fly and teleport. Because of my disabilities, SL has been useful, allowing me to interact with others even when I am in too much pain to leave the house. In the past couple of days, I have become painfully aware that this freedom is even more illusory than I had previously acknowledged.

Technologies like my laptop and the virtual worlds that it allows me to inhabit are only liberatory when I am able to use them. For the past three days, I have had headaches, convulsions, dizziness, and nausea. My sensitivity to light and the excruciating pain tearing through my head made it impossible for me to log on to SL or write this post. I've been in doctors' offices, had a CT scan, been given shots, and ultimately, put on yet another medication. Not only does it hurt to look at the computer screen, it hurts to sit upright; it hurts to organize these thoughts into sentences. My capacity to utilize technology to neutralize the hindrances of my disability is significantly hindered by that very same disability. Granted, my capacity to interact with the world is much greater in this computer-mediated environment. It doesn't require that I stand or exert much physical energy. [end of previously saved post from 4/13/08] It's easy enough for me to stop and take breaks when I need to. [Side note: it's physically easy to take breaks but it makes writing particularly difficult. My pain and neurological issues make keeping my thoughts together difficult as it is and having to stop and restart only exacerbates the problem.] However, when my vision is blurry and my hands shake too much to even navigate the keyboard effectively, the computer becomes more of a tease than an adaptive technology. I can see it, I can reach it, I know how to use it, but I can't actually make use of it. Right now, obviously, I am making good use of my adaptive technology and overall I am feeling fairly well. Unfortunately, after having spent a week and a half with debilitating pain, I have much to catch up on and, alas, no time to log on to Second Life.